chapter nine

Marion had a heart attack and is in the ICU. I can’t eve believe it. One second she’s fine and the next she’s gasping for air as Emily tries to hang on to her. Were still waiting to see Marion. Kris is sitting in the chair across from me and Emily is laying across the hospital couch, her head in my lap, asleep. It’s been around eight hours and we haven’t heard anything. Emily was finally calm enough to sleep a little after we promised her we would wake her up if anything happened. I play with her hair that sprawled out and twist the blonde strands around my finger. I look at Kris, who seems to be fighting herself about whether or not to say something.

“What is it?”

She pushes her hair behind her back, “What are you trying to do to her?”

“I’m not trying to do anything to her.” I insist.

“She’s engaged. Do you know that?”

Just the mentioning of Emily being engaged makes me want to gag, “I heard that, yes.”

“Then why are you trying to ruin her life? What if Chad had seen you two together? She has a good thing going.”

I love Kris, I really do. She cares so much about Emily but right now she’s getting on my last nerve, “I’m not ruining her life. At least I’m here as apposed to Chad who isn’t even sure he can get here.”

Kris takes a deep breath, “You and I both know the second you are done here you’re going to run out of here and never look back. Emily is here and your life is out there. I’m not sure she’s making the right choice with Chad, but I do know that being with you is bound to fuck her up. You two are like a train wreck waiting to happen and you know it.”

I smooth Emily’s hair, not saying anything. What can I say? There is nothing to say.

Kris gets up and comes over, sitting next to me, “It’s not that I don’t love you, because I do. You and I have always gotten along, but my loyalties lie with Emily and I’ll do anything to protect her, even if it means hurting you.”

I look down at Em, “She’s important to me too.”

“Now she is, and for a few weeks you’ve been able to convince yourself of that, but what about all that time that went past without even a phone call? Don’t play with her emotions.”

The doctor comes into the waiting room, “Emily Haywood?”

I lift Emily up and she opens her eyes, quickly snapping back to reality, “I’m here.”

The doctor pulls her aside and I feel like throwing up. I watch Emily’s face turn to pain as she sinks down to her knees. The doctor catches her and I quickly make my way over to them and take her.

“I’m very sorry Miss Haywood.”

Emily nods and I hold her as she cries. Kris comes over and hugs her from behind. Her tears seep through my shirt and I wish I could take her pain away.

________________________________________________________________________

One Week Later…

I sit in the church as the pastor says a few things about Gram. My parents flew here for the funeral and sit on either side of me. They were upset about Gram but it was mixed with excitement when they heard of my engagement. They love Chad. If only he was here. I guess he is so buried underneath work that he’s not sure when he’ll be here. Until then, I wait. Wait to feel, wait to live, wait to understand why all of this is happening.

I was asked to say a few things about her, but I was afraid I’d break down in front of all these people. I was never one to wear my heart on my sleeve, preferring to keep everything locked up inside me. Some of my cousins carry out her casket, and when we get to the cemetery, I watch as they lower her into the ground, never to be seen again.

I sit there after the funeral as everyone sits in the hall underneath the church eating and remembering Gram. I just stare at the floor as people hug me, extending their sympathy as well as food to me. Trace comes up and wraps his arms around me, “How are you doing?”

I bring my eyes up to his, “I’m not really sure.”

“I’m so sorry baby.” He says.

I nod and take the bowl of food he’s holding out to me, “I want you to eat some of it, alright?”

“Yes sir.”

Kristen rubs my back, trying to do her best to comfort me. My parents are taking off for Chicago tonight and they are handling everything so I don’t have to. I walk into the bathroom and lock door. I reach into my pocket and pull out my cell phone. I dial the number and hold it against me ear. After four rings, all I get is voicemail, “Hi this is Chad Cogswell, I am either on the phone or away from my desk but if you leave me a detailed message, I will get back to you as quickly as possible.”

I try not to sound like shit as I leave a message, “Chad, it’s me. I really need you right now. Please come home or at least call, alright? Love you.”

I hang up the phone and shove it back into my pocket. I unlock the door and walk into the sea of people. I have never felt so alone. The need to be in Chad’s arms is so intense that I can barely focus. I need someone to save me before it’s too late.

Lynn comes up to me and hugs me, holding me for a minute, “I’m going to take your parents to the airport today because I have to go and pick up Jon from camp. Justin is going to take you home and help you unload the food, not that I think you can possibly eat it all yourself.”

My mother butts in as she overhears our conversation, “That’s okay. Kristen can help Emily unload the food.”

Lynn rubs my arm gently, not taking her eyes off my, “Kristen lives twenty minutes away from Emily’s house and it’s getting late. Justin can help her do it.”

My mother goes to protest when Justin walks up to us, “Hi Erin.”

Mom tries to smile as her voice comes out more like a hiss, “Hi Justin. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

She is not happy he’s here. Believe you me, when she found out he was in town, I could see in her eyes that trouble was on the way. He was no longer the charming boy from down the street; he was the guy who left. Now that I had Chad, everything was perfect and his money is just the icing on the cake. If my mother saw complications in what was my seemingly perfect romance, it was squashed immediately. That’s what Justin is to her, a complication.

He nods at her and turns to me, “You ready to go?”

“Yes.” I whisper.

I let him lead me out by the arm and put me in the car. It’s pouring rain as he loads up the trunk with food and gets in, starting up the engine and drives me home. I don’t say anything during the whole ride. He glances at me occasionally, but I’m all cried out. There is nothing left to give. Justin pulls into my driveway and unlocks the trunk. Justin runs through the rain bring in the food, putting it in the fridge. I’m soaked from walking into the house instead of running and wipe the water from my face. I shiver, but grab a sponge and start wiping down the table. I rub the surface roughly and the table shakes beneath my hand. Justin grabs me and pulls me towards him, holding me still.

“I have to do this!” I say as I fight to scrub more but he takes the sponge from my hand and pushes me against the wall.

“No you don’t Em. Just stop.”

Then he kisses me.

________________________________________________________________________

I kiss her hard. Our lips crash together and my knees go weak. Her hair is soaking wet and I push it away from her eyes as I look at her before going at her lips again. I push my body against her as I hold the back of her head and hold it as I kiss her. It takes a minute, but she gives in, putting her tongue in my mouth. I massage her tongue and pick her up as she wraps her legs around my waist. I carry her up the stairs into her bedroom, laying her down on the bed.

I admire her for a minute as I pull my shirt off my body. I crawl over her and connect my lips to her neck. She may be here physically, but emotionally she’s on another planet.

The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in
We smile for the casual closure capturing
There goes the downpour
Here goes my fare thee well

“I can’t do this.” She whispers.

“Don’t fight it.” I say in her ear.

There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone

I pull of her black dress that is practically stuck to her body from the rain. She’s just as beautiful as I remember. Her hands claw at my sides in a need to be far away from reality. I take off my jeans and watch as she just lays there in defeat.

Only so many words that we can say
Spoken upon long-distance melody
This is my hello
This is my goodness

There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone

“You okay?” I whisper.

“I can’t do this. What about-” but I don’t let her finish as I kiss her. If I hear his name right now, I will lose it myself.

I rub my hands over her body and undue the back of her bra, ripping it from her skin. She holds on to my arms as I slip my fingers into her underwear and pull them down her legs slowly. I look at her and the only thing she has left on is that fucking ring around her neck. I move in to kiss her and subtly push it off her chest until the weight of the ring causes it to fall back behind her shoulder. And now she’s mine.

Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again
Straighten this whole thing out
Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy
This is the distance
And this is my game face

There's really no way to reach me
'Cause I'm already gone

My hand goes between her legs and I stroke her gently. Em gasps at the attention my hand is paying her. It has only begun. Her eyes close and I start to feel arousal growing in her. I spread her legs a little farther and make myself comfortable in between them. I kiss her fingers one by one before putting her hand back on me as I enter her.

________________________________________________________________________

Everything’s spinning. I’m not sure whether or not that’s a good thing, but it does help me to get lost in anything but what’s going on. If you have to get lost, getting lost in Justin Timberlake is one way I would recommend. The sensations from him trusting in and out of me are amazing. He knew every button to push, where the spots were that made me melt and as he gets a rhythm going, he remembers it all.

“Em.” He groans out.

Damn it, If he just would remain silent this would be easier. Every time he opens his mouth I realize that he’s not the one who is supposed to be doing this to me. Not at all. It’s supposed to be Chad, the guy I agreed to marry. The man who gave me a diamond ring in return for that promise. The man who has always protected me, never let me fall. The one who loves me without playing games. He never tires of me.

“Emily, open your eyes.” He begs.

I struggle with the plea and momentarily open my eyes, only to shut them immediately. Chad deserves better than this. Hell Justin deserves better than this. But I just don’t know who to stop this thing.

I convulse underneath him as my orgasm takes over my body. After a few seconds, Justin joins my euphoria and collapses on top of me. We stay like that for a moment before Justin holds on to me and rolls over so I’m on top, lying on his chest. He kisses the top of my head. I’ll never be able to erase the felling of his lips on me, his touch or his body. It’s like being branded without anyone knowing. But I know. And he knows.

So this is your maverick
This is Vienna

________________________________________________________________________

I wake up several hours later to a phone ringing. I squint down and Emily is still asleep on my chest. I grab for her phone and turn the ringer off, looking at the caller id on it. Chad. I watch the phone until her message light begins to blink. I stare at the phone for a minute before deciding what to do. I carefully slide Emily off me, watching to make sure she doesn’t wake up and go into the bathroom. I hit voicemail on her phone and put it to my ear. I know I shouldn’t do this. I know it. But it doesn’t stop me.

“Emily, it’s Chad. Baby I’m so sorry I wasn’t there at the funeral. I got your message and I’m coming to get you. I’ll be there tomorrow morning at seven, just hang in there till then. I love you Em.”

My breath is ragged as I press the button to delete the message. I creep into the bedroom and put the phone back. My mind is searching for answers on what to do. Actually, I know what I need to do, it’s doing it that is complicated. I have to do it though, I won’t let him have her. I gently shake Em’s body, waiting until she opens her eyes to begin talking. She sighs contently and opens her eyes, looking up at me.

“Hi Angel.”

She smiles at me, but I know what’s going on in her head. She just cheated on her fiancé. If the fiancé is an asshole, does it really count as cheating? Didn’t think so. Loophole found.

“Listen, I had an idea.”

Emily sits up, holding the sheets against her body. She ruffles her hair a bit and I can’t help but smile, “Yes?”

“I was thinking, you don’t really want to stay in the house yet by yourself. So why don’t you come with me and we’ll go away for a week, just the two of us.”

“I don’t know J.” Emily hesitates.

“We don’t have to tell anyone where were going. If anyone asks you, you can say you’re doing stuff for work and I’ll say I had to meet with my producer. Come on, it’s a house on the beach. We’ll relax.”

Emily looks at her phone before looking at me, “Alright. When do we leave?” I grin, “How fast can you get dressed?”

The Fray-Vienna

10