chapter four

I get my butt out of bed and go downstairs into the kitchen where my mom is folding laundry, “Morning blue eyes.”

“Morning mom.” I yawn.

“How was Trace’s party last night?” she says, snapping a sheet and folding it into a rectangle.

“It was interesting. Made a jackass of myself in front of several people.”

Mom raises her eyebrows, “What did you do?”

I open the fridge and pour myself a glass of orange juice, “I was walking into Mrs. Ayala’s kitchen and smacked right into Emily, who was carrying a bowl of punch. It poured all over her and she was soaked.”

Mom tries not to laugh as she smoothes out one of my shirts, “You’re home two days and you manage to run into Emily three times. You don’t think that’s ironic after seven years of coming home for a week at a time and never seeing her, you’re here for a matter of hours and you manage to find her.”

“It’s not like I sought her out mom, it just happened. We just share the same circle of friends. I will say that I did talk to her and we agreed to put our past relationship behind us and move on.”

“Well, at least that’s something.”

I chug the juice down and put the glass in the dishwasher, “It will get us through the next few months.”

I grab a doughnut off the table and take a bite, “I’m going to go hang out with Trace today, so I’ll see you later.”

“Alright, see you later honey. Be sure to say hi to Trace for me, or with your luck, Emily.”

I laugh sarcastically and close the door behind me, heading over to Trace’s. I open the door to this house and walk in. I stopped knocking years ago and the privilege belongs to me alone. I walk in and Trace is waiting for me in the living room, “Hey man.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing much. I saw you talking to Em yesterday, how did that go?” he says chuckling.

“We just agreed to put our previous feelings aside. We were so young and everything is different now, we decided to just relax around each other.”

“Yeah, okay. I want to see that plan in action J.”

I roll my eyes and finish the doughnut in my hand, “The next time I bump into her and you’re there, you’ll get the chance.”

“Well, it’s going to be sooner than you think.”

Fuck is scrolling across my brain right now, “How soon and why?’ I ask, looking at him with panic.

“Today?” he says hesitantly.

I feel like someone punched me in the stomach, “Why?” “Emily called this morning and asked if I wanted to go to Cedar Lake and spend the day there.”

“Cedar Lake?” I repeat slowly.

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason man.”

Trace turns off the TV and stands up, “Good, so we’ll go then.”

I stand up quickly, “I don’t know, I’m really tired.”

“Justin, you’re going to have to face her eventually. I thought you just told me that you two were fine with each other.”

“We are, I’m just tired.” I insist.

“Dude, suck it up cause you’re coming with me.”

Cedar Lake. Of all the places that Emily and I could be in together, it had to be our lake. Let the good times roll.

________________________________________________________________________

I laugh with Kristen on the drive down to the lake, listening to Shania Twain.

Kris shifts the car into gear as we go up the hill, “So tell me exactly what he said to you.”

I sigh, “It’s not a big deal, all Justin said is he wants to be able to say high without the emotional stuff we used to have, which is fine because we don’t have feelings for each other anymore.”

“At least he made an effort.” Kris comments.

“Yeah, it was touching.” I grumble.

Kris refuses to remark about it and changes the subject, “What happened to Chad, I thought he was going to be here when you called this morning.”

“He called me early this morning and said that he had to help a client and that he’d meet us there.”

Kris nods and licks her lips.

“What is it?”

She feigns innocence, “What do you mean?”

“You are upset about something.” I point out.

“I just think he could make a little more time for you, that’s all.”

“He works very hard.” I say defensively, “Besides, he loves me and wants to make me happy.”

“Does he make you smile, laugh or cause your heart to skip a beat?” Kristen asks sadly.

“He doesn’t make me cry.” I retort.

Kris shuts up and we drive the rest of the way in silence until we reach the parking lot and park the car. Kris pops the trunk and I go back and grab the cooler as Kris grabs the fold up chairs we brought. We walk down the path to the lake and set up our stuff.

“Listen Em, I wasn’t trying to be negative or say Chad isn’t a good guy, I just like to watch out for you and the guys you date.”

I look at her, “I know that, I’m just tired. Gram wasn’t feeling well this morning and I’m a little scattered today.”

Kris rubs my back as I sit next to her in the sand, “It’s all going to be alright. Marion isn’t ready to go yet, she’s hanging on for something.”

I push the hair back from my face, “I know she is, but I don’t know what it is and she refuses to tell me. The good news is that she is hanging on, which is a good thing.”

“Yes it is.”

I hear a noise behind me and both Kris and I turn around to see Justin and Trace coming down the path. I thought Justin would have been busy. Damn, if I had thought he would have come, I would have picked a different place to meet. Any other place than this one. I look at Kristen who bites her bottom lip, but says nothing.

“Hey guys, what a beautiful day.” Trace says.

Kris takes of her shirt, “Isn’t it? I can’t wait to get in the water.”

I stand up and pull off my shirt and shorts, going to the water and dipping my foot in it.

“Is it nice?” Kris asks.

“Yeah, not cold at all.”

The boys make it all the way down and set their things down next to ours, “Hey Em.” Trace says.

“Hey Trace, Justin.”

“Hi.” Justin says, looking at me.

I walk over to Kristen as she takes off her shorts and grabs my hand, pulling me down to the water’s edge.

“Okay, on three we jump.” Kris says, “One, two three!”

Kris jumps and I back up to keep from being splashed. Kris comes back up from the water and takes a breath, looking at me, “You cheater! You were supposed to jump.”

I stick my tongue out at her when I feel someone grab me from behind and pull me into the water with them. I hold my breath as I go under water and come back up for air as I look around. Trace comes back up as well and I swim at him, hanging on to his back, “You traitor!” I laugh.

“You didn’t jump in. What was I supposed to do?”

“Um, let me think. Maybe I could have gotten into the water myself.”

“That would have taken too long.” Trace laughs, tickling me in the water.

Justin gets in the water and swims out to the floating dock in the lake. I get out of the water and lay down on the platform as the sun basks on my body. Kristen dives off the board and into the water as Justin and Trace swim together.

“Hey Em, do you remember how you and Justin used to dive together?” Kristen calls out.

I’m going to kill her later.

“No, not really.” I lie.

“Aw, sure you do. Justin you remember right?”

He looks at her questioning before answering, “Yah, I remember.”

“Could you do it with Em.”

No, no, no! Please God let him say he has a cramp or something. I watch his face as he cocks his head to the side.

“Sure, if Emily doesn’t care.”

Oh great, let’s leave it up to me to be the one to decide. Were friends now damn it, so I guess I have to act like one.

“I don’t care.”

Justin swims over to the platform and climbs on to it with me. He lays down on the wood and I stand up, waiting for him to get comfortable.

“Okay, go ahead Em.”

I shake out my arms before stepping on his back. He pushes himself up off the platform like a pushup which sends me into the air and I do a flip as I hit the water. I come up to the surface of the water as Trace cheers, “I still can’t believe you can do that.”

“I’ve did it a million times when I was little, my body just manages to revert back to those days when I do it.”

Kris smiles and I smile back, inside whishing she cared a little less about me.

“Nice flip.” Justin remarks as I climb out of the water.

I pull my hair into a pony tail, “Thanks.”

“Hey Trace, you want to help me grab the beers from the car, I left them there by mistake?”

“Sure, I’ll help you carry it.”

Trace and Kris get out of the water and walk up the path back to the car. I sit there with Justin, racking my brain as to what to say.

“So how are you anyway?” Justin asks.

“Fine. I graduated from college.”

“Good for you. Did you finish with a major in English?”

I nod, “Yeah, I loved it.”

Justin looks at me, “So now you work at a gas station?”

I try not to notice the tone of voice he used. The one that says you’re lower than thou.

“I help out there because Lou needs help and I was more than happy to help. I make jewelry and draw sketches in the back when I’m not needed.”

Justin looks at me with a sarcastic “you sure made something of yourself” look. I don’t go after him the way I used to. When Justin used to give me a stupid look, I would harp all over him and explain my position and the reason he was wrong, but I realize now he no longer wants to listen.

“What about you? How is your music career going?”

“Great, the album was really successful.”

“I read that. You seem to have moved from boy band wonder to independent artist.”

Justin smiles, “It was a hard transition, but I think I managed to finally break the mold people used to think of me as.”

I finally ask what’s been on my mind for the past few days, “Why are you here then?”

Justin swallows and I wonder if the question is too personal, “I just needed a break. It takes a lot out of you to be followed all the time and stalked by people with cameras. God forbid you make a wrong move and you end up on the front of the local smear magazine or the infamous page six.”

I fiddle with the ring on my thumb as I squeeze the excess water from my pony tail.

“How is that guy you’re dating? He seems nice.”

“He is. Chad and I have been seeing each other for about a year, so far, so good.”

“Mom said he was some sort of investor?”

“He’s an investment banker. Chad went to Princeton College and now works on Wall Street. I met him through my company when he bought a piece of jewelry for his mom. How about you? You were with some movie star weren’t you?”

Justin rubs the back of his neck with his hand, “I was with Cameron Diaz for a while, but it didn’t work out. It wasn’t really a good relationship.”

“I’m sorry.” I say, truly sympathetic.

“Naw, it’s alright. I like being able to date around.”

I say nothing as I see Trace and Kris come down the hill carrying the tub of beer, “You’d think we were going to hold a rave with all that beer.”

Justin laughs, “Kris likes to do it right. Come on, let’s go get our fare share before she drinks it all.”

________________________________________________________________________

She’s so different I can’t get over it. When you talk to her, it’s like a completely different person. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. There’s kind of a “weighed down by life” way that she talks. I used to wish she was more worldly towards the end of our relationship, but now I realize that’s not right for her.

Trace and Em are eating together, laughing about something that happened at the store. I sit back and watch the two of them in awe of what I missed. Kris comes over and sits next to me.

“You planned it, didn’t you?”

“Excuse me?” she asks, taking a sip of beer.

“The diving thing and forgetting the beer. You wanted me and Em alone together.”

Kris takes another sip, “I just want you two to be comfortable enough around each other so we can all hang out, that’s all.”

“Is she okay?”

“Why do you care?”

Ouch. That one hurt, “I care, okay? Just because I broke up with her doesn’t mean I don’t want the best for her.”

“You never called, never wrote. Not only did you leave Emily, but you left me too Justin. It’s just less awkward when were together because we never had those feelings for one another. You left us here.”

I turn to look at her, “I didn’t mean to. You and Em are so close, when we broke up I kind of cut any direct link to her off except for Trace. I never meant to hurt you.”

Kris shrugs, “I know you didn’t, that’s why it’s not hard to forgive you and forget.”

“Now how about Emily?”

Kris becomes serious and chooses her words carefully, “She’s emotionally exhausted from the roller coaster ride of dealing with Marion. Work demands a lot from her and having a relationship with Chad tends to get complicated. There’s nothing I can really help her with on any of those things, so I just sit back and lend a shoulder to cry on when she needs it.”

“Work is hectic? It’s a gas station, how hectic can it be?”

“No, not the gas station, the jewelry sketches she does.”

Right. How important can a drawing of a piece of jewelry be? Exactly.

“Well I saw Marion, and she definitely looks ill.”

Kris stretches her legs out in front of her, “It’s in God’s hands now.”

Trace and Em come over and we all sit around the small bonfire that Trace made. Kris and Trace put the empty bottles of beer away as Emily pulls on her clothes. I see goose bumps on her arm from the reflection of the dying flames and I grab my coat, handing it to her.

“Thank you.”

I smile, “No problem. I was wondering if maybe this week I could come over and see Marion again.”

Em looks at me, “Yeah, sure. She would love seeing you again. You were like the grandson she never had.”

“Is there anything I can do for her?”

Em fights off tears that I see forming in the corner of her eyes, “No, but thanks for asking. There’s nothing anyone can do for her anymore except try and make her smile.”

I put my hand out slowly and rub her back. She doesn’t pull away and I take it as a good sign as I put a little more pressure into the rubbing. All of a sudden I hear a noise and look up to see Chad.

He comes over and hugs her as I pull my hand away, “Baby, I’m so sorry I’m late. Traffic was a nightmare and I tried to call and tell you, but your phone must be turned off.”

“My phone wasn’t off. I probably don’t get reception here.”

Chad turns to me for the first time and I can tell he doesn’t like how close to Emily I am. Kris comes over with Trace carrying the cooler, “Hey Chad, I though you’d be here a lot earlier.”

“I got caught in traffic, but I’m here now.” He says.

Emily smiles, “I’m glad you came, I thought you got stuck at work or something.”

“I promised you I would come and I did.”

“Only a day late and a dollar short.” I mutter under my breath.

“Why don’t you drive back to the house with me and we can hang out for a while?”

“Sounds good.” He says kissing Em.

“Is that alright Kris?” Em asks.

“Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Emily and Chad start to walk away when Em stops and turns around, running back to us, “I forgot to give it back.” She says, handing me my coat.

I hold it in my hand as she walks back to Chad and they get in his car and drive away.

I pack up the rest of the things and say goodbye to Kris as Trace and I get in the car. What an ass. Her phone was not off. I bet her didn’t even call her. I never did that to her when we were dating. I hold the jacket to my face discretely so Trace doesn’t notice and I smell what can only be described as Emily. Her perfume mixed with body crème and the natural scent of her. I realize what I’m doing and quickly put the coat down, concentrating for the rest of the trip on thinking about anything other than Emily Haywood.

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