chapter three

I got in really late last night with Chad and curled up in my bed, passing out immediately. We didn’t end on a good note and I needed the rest. I fight to stay asleep as someone bounces on the bed next to me, “Mmmm, go away.” I whine.

Kris rips the covers off my body, “Get up hon, we have to go to Trace’s barbeque tonight and we need to go find something to wear at the mall.”

“Oh, hell no. I was Justin again last night and since Trace is his best friend, he’ll probably be there and I don’t want to be within fifty feet of him.”

Kris sighs, “We promised Mrs. Ayala we would be there. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to go, you said you would, now let’s go.”

I moan and pull the pillow over my face, shielding my eyes from the light now searing through the window from the shade Kris felt the need to pull up.

“He’s staying.”

“What?” Kris says.

I sit up and open my eyes, “Justin Timberlake is staying in Tennessee for the summer. At least.” I emphasize.

“Why?” Kristen says shocked, climbing onto the bed and plopping down next to me.

“I didn’t ask. All I could think of is how to get away from him. And guess how I found this information out.”

Kris scrunches up her face, “I’m assuming this is not a good story.”

I laugh bitterly, “I found out because he came over with Lynn last night to visit Gram.”

“He didn’t! I can’t even imagine how you must have looked when you saw him.”

“Like a ghost. I had to pretend like I had something to say to the guy after seven years of never speaking. Thankfully I wasn’t there long and Chad showed up. It was so unreal.”

Kris sits there, looking at me.

“What?” I ask.

“It brings back memories, doesn’t it?”

I look at Kris before wiping the sleep out of my eyes, “Not good ones.”

Kristen scoots closer to me and wraps her arms around me, “Well, I love you and Chad loves you. Were all that matters anyway.”

I smile, taking the coffee that Kris is holding out to me, “I’ll go take a shower. We’ll talk about the barbeque when I get out.”

“Alright, but it won’t change anything!” Kris calls after me.

________________________________________________________________________

I eventually emerged from the shower, walking downstairs in jeans and a tee shirt. I sit down in the kitchen and Kris throws me a banana, “Were going to have to eat and run. Sales started this morning at five a.m. and it’s now eight.”

“I have to check on Gram first, then we can go.”

“I already poured her tea.” Kris says happily, giving me the cup.

“Morning people really piss me off, did I ever tell you that?”

She grins wildly, nodding.

I give her a dirty look and go inside to Gram, who is watching TV as I walk in.

“Morning Gram.”

“Morning darling. How was your night?”

“It was nice. Angelo’s is a great restaurant.”

Gram smiles, “I remember, you had your first date with Justin there.”

I hold my breathe as I put the cup down next to her and try to smile, “I forgot that.”

She gentle touches her hand to my cheek sadly, “No you didn’t sweetheart.”

I clear my throat and kiss her hand, “I’m going out with Kristen to go shopping since I promised Mrs. Ayala I would be at her barbeque to help out. How about we all go there around four?”

“Whatever you want honey.”

“Take all your vitamins!” I call back to her as I grab my keys and follow Kris out the door.

We hop into my Honda and drive to the mall. Kris fiddles with the radio until she finds something she likes, “So I was thinking about jeans and a cool top. What do you think?”

“Sounds fine.”

“Are you even concentrating on me?”

“Of coarse, I’m just a little preoccupied.” I answer.

“With Justin?”

“No, Chad. He asked me to move in with him, but I’m not leaving Gram alone and he got upset.”

Kris goes into protective mode, “Tell him you have commitments other than your relationship. The world does not revolve around him.”

I smirk, “I think he got the message last night when I didn’t even kiss him goodnight. I do appreciate what he’s trying to do and the fact that he does want to be with me, but he needs to understand that I have things I need to do.”

“I hope you know that what you’re doing for your grandmother is unbelievable and that she appreciates it.”

“I know she does and I don’t mind doing it. Sometimes I wish I had my freedom for a minute, but then I look at her and I know I wouldn’t change our situation for anything.”

“That’s because you’re a great granddaughter.” Kris says, pulling into a vacant parking spot.

“Alright, lets go get something to wear.” She squeals.

Kris takes my hand and we go into the mouth of hell.

________________________________________________________________________

I throw the basketball in the air and it sails through the net with a swoosh. I retrieve the ball again and dribble it further back before taking another shot. Once again, the ball goes into the hoop and bounces on the pavement. Trace walks over and picks the ball up, throwing it to me, “How was last night?”

“Long.” I respond.

“And Emily?”

I jump and shoot the ball, “She wasn’t there for more than ten minutes. That guy she’s dating showed up and then went out together.”

“I guess you met Chad. She’s been dating him for about a year or two now.”

I roll my eyes, “So I’ve been told. I should care why?”

Trace throws me a look, “He’s a nice guy, that’s all. He seems to really be falling for Em. I generally like to know the kind of guys she dates. I don’t know if he’s necessarily her type, but he does seem to care for her.”

I toss the ball again at the hoop, but miss. I take a breather and grab my water bottle from the ground and chug some water, “So what time should I be over at your mom’s?”

“She told me that we should be there around four. Mom’s thrilled your back, can’t wait to see you.”

I smile, “I haven’t seen your mom in a long time. Coming back home makes me realize just how much I’ve missed being here. I’m sure by the end of the summer I’ll be ready to go back to my hectic pace of life, but until then I can get used to not being followed around twenty four seven.”

Trace grins, “It does help with the women though. Who are you dating these days? Angelina Joliet, Nicole Kidman or Jessica Simpson maybe?”

“Naw man, I swore off dating women for a while after Cameron. The last thing I need is another break up, another headline, another heartache.”

“Let’s be honest Justin, you never were that attached to Cameron.”

I snap the top closed on the water bottle, “I know. I was just bored and Cameron seemed like fun. It stopped being fun a while ago. Besides, do you really want to have a relationship with someone based on if you have fun or not? She was more of a friend I slept with than a real relationship.”

Trace puts the ball down after taking a shot and sits down next to me on the driveway. I hand him the water bottle and he takes a sip, “Emily’s going to be at the Barbeque with Kristen.”

I sigh, “I figured. There’s no getting around it while I’m here.”

“She’s over you. It wouldn’t surprise me if you spoke to her and worked through this, that way you wouldn’t have to worry about avoiding her.”

“I’ll think about it, alright.”

“Fine man, be like that. The tension between you is fucked up and talking to her wouldn’t kill you.”

I wipe the sweat off of brow with the sleeve of my shirt and stand up, “I’ll go get changed and then we’ll head over, okay.”

“Sure man.”

I head inside and go up the stairs to my old room and find a clean shirt in my suitcase. I look through the bulky piece of luggage before putting some of the only tee shirts not wrinkled in my drawer. I open the second one and find a familiar piece of paper with writing on it. It was the letter Emily gave me when I left for my first tour. She wrote about how much she loved me and how proud of me she was, following my dreams and all.

I look at the letter before tossing it in the garbage next to the bed. I don’t need to read it anymore.

________________________________________________________________________

Kristen and I pull up to Mrs. Ayala’s house and walk around to the back yard. The radio is playing Rascal Flatts and I go up to hug Trace, “Hi sexy.”

Trace smiles, “Hey you. Glad you two could make it.”

“Trace, come over here and give me a hug.” Kristen says.

“Kris, I thought you’d never get here. You know the party couldn’t start without your beautiful face.”

Kristen hugs Trace, “Yeah, right. I need boots for all that crap your dishing out hon.”

“You know I love you anyway.”

Trace leans over and whispers something in Kris’s ear, “Duh Trace, she saw him last night. You think you could have put in a call to me before hand really would have helped me and her.”

“You just got back from your vacation and I didn’t know he was coming until he got here, okay? Please don’t jump on my back!” he whispers back.

Kris loops her arm around Trace’s and comes over to me like I didn’t just hear their conversation. I really need to get out more.

“So Em, you want to go inside and help me get the punch?” Trace asks.

The old diversion trick. Don’t they know that it only works when you’re seven and stupid?

I relent anyway, “Sure Trace, lets go.”

We walk inside and the neighborhood kids are playing a board game on the floor and eating hamburgers. I smile as one of them screams in joy as they get the roll they wanted. I remember playing games like that with Kris and Trace. I normally try to block out all memories that include Justin, which really means that I try to block out the first eighteen years of my life. On days like this though, I let myself remember how much fun we had. Mrs. Ayala is the only mother left with pictures of all of us together. Lynn took her pictures of Justin and me together as well as my mom. Somehow, Mrs. Ayala could never bring herself to get rid of them.

I grab a punch bowl and bring it outside to the picnic tables and put it down, going inside for another.

________________________________________________________________________

I walk over to Trace’s and walk into the backyard, “Hey Mrs. Ayala.”

“Justin! It’s so good to see you again.” She says, hugging me tightly.

“It’s good to be back.”

She steps back and looks me over, “You look tired, you definitely need a break. Go inside and grab the paper plates of the counter so you can have something to eat.”

“Okay, thanks.”

I go up the steps to the deck and go inside. I step over some of the younger kids playing on the floor and push the swinging door in.

“Aaahh!” I hear a voice scream.

Oh shit. I gentle push the door open to see Emily, soaked from head to toe in punch, the bowl pressed up against her shirt, which has become see-thru since the halter top she was wearing was white.

“I’m so sorry!” I stutter.

Emily looks up at me and back down to her clothes. Trace comes up from behind me, “Dude, what are you looking at?”

He looks at me and then at Emily, “Oh! Em, you okay?”

Emily recovers and puts the bowl on the counter as she goes for some paper towels, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

I bend down and grab some paper towels as well, cleaning up the stick mixture up off the floor. Trace clears his throat at Emily and she looks up in confusion. He pulls at this tee shirt and she looks down at her own. Her cheeks immediately turn a shade of crimson and she folds her arms over her body.

“I’m sorry Em, I truly didn’t mean to.” I begin.

“It’s fine.” She whispers.

Trace moves the closet and pulls out a towel, “Here Em. Go take a shower and I’ll find something for you to put on.”

Emily moves her wet hair behind her back, “That’s alright, I’ll just go home.”

Trace sighs, “Please stay Em, it’s the official start of summer that we hang out here.”

Kristen comes in and puts her hand over her mouth, “Em, what happened?”

“Nothing, it was an accident.”

“Kris, tell Em she can just shower here and stay for the party.”

“Oh Em, you can’t leave. I have some clothes you can change into in the car. Go take a shower in Trace’s room and I’ll leave the clothes on the bed.”

Emily throws the wet paper towels away and holds the towel around her tighter, “Fine, I’ll go get cleaned up.”

She walks out of the room and goes upstairs. Kristen just looks at me until I finally open my mouth, “Hey Kris.”

“Hi.” She says softly, “Trace, I’m going to go get Em the clothes, do you need any help cleaning up?”

Trace shakes his head, “I think we can handle it, thanks.”

Kris leaves and Trace wets some towels and wipes the remaining punch up off the floor.

“You know, when I said talk to her, I didn’t mean for you to dump punch all over her first.”

“Funny dude, funny.” I say, picking up the last of the towels.

Trace laughs and grabs some plates, “Come on and grab something to eat. Emily will be out soon and then you can apologize, because I know that’s what you’re waiting to do.”

I know he’s right. I don’t really want to have any contact with her, but it’s such a small town that chances are, I’m bound to run into her, just not literally. This will only further the awkwardness we already feel if I don’t say something.

I wait outside for a little while, catching up with friends and people I haven’t seen in years until I see Emily emerge in a jean skirt and red tank top. She goes to the buffet and starts putting things on her plate. Since no one is there with her, I carefully climb the stairs up to the deck and tap her on the shoulder, “Hi.”

Emily turns around and looks at me in confusion, “Hi.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about the punch thing, I didn’t know you were there.”

She grabs the salad and puts some next to her hot dog, “I know, don’t worry about it.”

I nod and stand there, trying to think about what to say next. Emily looks at me with a “what is it?” expression on her face.

“I was thinking that we should out everything behind us.” I get out.

Emily puts her plate down, “What do you mean?”

“The whole break up thing and how awkward things are now. I’m going to be here for a little while and were probably going to be seeing each other now and then.”

Emily nods, “You’re right. The whole breakup thing was so long ago, it doesn’t even matter anymore Justin. We’ve both moved on.”

“Great. That way when we see each other we can say hello and have a casual conversation.”

It’s not that I really believe things will ever be normal between us again, but it couldn’t get any worse then this and if we both pretend that things aren’t awkward, we’ll make it through the summer.

“Sure. That sounds like a plan to me.”

I hold out my hand, “So, friends?”

She looks at my hand a minute before putting hers in mine, “Sure, friends.”

________________________________________________________________________

I finally get back home and sit down on the couch, rubbing my temples with my hand. It was a long day. Friends. Justin and I don’t know how to be friends after all this time. Wouldn’t know where to begin. The gesture was done though to stop the run ins and silence. It will be easier to just wave in public then pretending we didn’t see each other. We can now have a cordial, meaningless conversation when necessary without feeling like everyone can sense the hostility between us. I grab the bottle of advil from my purse and pop two in my mouth, taking a sip of cranberry juice to wash it down.

My cell starts to ring and I open it, putting it to my ear and holding it in place with my shoulder while I reach for some chips, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” Chad says.

“Hi.”

“Listen Em. I’m sorry about last night. I just wanted to spend more time with you.”

I take a deep breathe, “I know and I love that you want to commit to me like that, but I can’t right now and you need to understand where I’m coming from.”

“I do.” Chad insists, “I just got caught up in the idea of you staying with me. I’m sorry. I know how much your grandmother means to you.”

“Good. That’s all I wanted to hear.”

I can hear Chad loosen up over the phone, “Now that that’s over, anything exciting happen today?”

I contemplate telling him about the whole run in with Justin, but it’s a long story without much of an ending. Nothing new has really emerged from the whole ordeal anyway.

“Not a thing.” I reason.

“Nothing new happened on this end either. Listen, you have a good night sleep and I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll go out and do something fun. Anything you want, my treat.”

I smile, “Thanks Chad. I love you.”

“I love you too baby, see you tomorrow.”

I hang up the phone and look in Gram’s room to make sure she’s asleep before trudging upstairs to my own bed with Abigail.

4